The First Star I See Tonight - By Browny <Browny_@email.com> 
Rated PG | 19KB | Archived 08.00.99 
Spoilers: 01x13 Rhapsody In Blue 
Summary: Down time on Moya written by a warped fan :) 


Disclaimer: Farscape and all of its "distinct personalities flying around a 
strange universe in a (now pregnant) organic star ship *" do NOT belong to 
me. I am just borrowing them for a while, promise to put them back when I am 
done. *That quote came from http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com, I am using it 
without permission. (Great, now instead of one person who can sue, I got 
two...) Also, Moby Dick and Star Trek are not mine either. (Really??) 


Notes: Filk. A very short piece on a few ideas I had. 
Archive?: YES please do! Just ask first and send a link of where you post 
it. 


*** 


            Deep in the uncharted territories Moya travel along its path, lost, 
    like the small crew on board her. The ship had traveled for over a week 
    without stopping. It was traveling a large expanse of space with few 
    habituated planets. Inside the gigantic living ship John Crichton peered 
    around the entry way into the large room he had been looking for with 
    Pilot's help. He hadn't see Aeryn all day, with the lack of anything at the 
    moment out to get them, the meager crew of Moya had gone their separate ways. 
    With the DRD's maintaining most of Moya's systems the crew themselves had little 
    to do. After walking around the ship literally five times, John had asked Pilot 
    if he knew were Aeryn was. He figured she would be as bored as he, and maybe 
    would wish to just talk, or rip off his arm. 'Peace Keeper PMS' he often 
    thought silently to himself. The problem was both male and female Sebaceans 
    seemed to be effected. All the time. 
            Pilot had been quite cheerful, surprising as it was, and told him 
    where Aeryn was. He also told him about her request not that long before. 
            "What she up to?" 
            "She requested that I power up one of the lower deck viewing 
    portals." He said simply. 
            "Viewing portal?" 
            "It is a larger version of the holographic display on the bridge." 
            "Oh, like a holodeck on Star trek?" He waved his hand in apology at 
    Pilot at his puzzled reaction. "Don't mind me, I am just the crazy Human." 
            "Of this I have no doubt most of the time." The green alien said 
    inwardly as he faded from view. 
            He had wondered what Aeryn would spend her time looking at. John 
    looked around the dark room in amazement. It was as if someone had shrunken 
    the night time sky and placed it in the small room. He stepped inside. As 
    his eyes adjusted to the light level he could see Aeryn looking straight at 
    him. 
            "I am sorry to interrupt, I just..." He sputtered. 
            "You are wasting away on this ship, for lack of anything to do?" She 
    finished for him. She understood better than he did, she was a fighter, a 
    soldier. The stillness of the ship bothered her like nothing ever had in her 
    life, not that she would dare show it to anyone. 
            "This is so incredible, we have something like this at home, but not 
    like this... it just feels so real, like we were planet side." John knew how 
    important that image was to her, the rough and strong Aeryn Sun image, and 
    didn't press her. She smiled faintly at that. "What sky are we looking at?" 
    He walked over to join her. 
            "My home planet, or I should say home world, to my people. I was not 
    born there." John nodded, his eyes still up at the generated heavens. 
            "Have you ever seen them in person?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't 
    leap all over him for the too personal a question. She thought about it, 
    then spoke. 
            "Yes. When I was younger, twelve cycles old. It was a brief visit, 
    the training ship I was stationed on stopped there for a few arhns." She 
    looked over with a faint smile, then looked away. It was no use, he had seen 
    it. "I snuck out to see what my home world looked like, after hearing about 
    it so much I was curious. I remember thinking how faint the sky looked, 
    after seeing the stars up close." She frowned. 
            "What happened?" He had feeling this story ended badly. 
            "I was caught, and punished for my disobedience. I never forgot what 
    my curiosity got me." John looked back at her, and saw only the stern Peace 
    Keeper standing next to him. He looked away. It was such a damn shame, some 
    times Aeryn let down her guard, he saw... hell he didn't know what he saw, 
    but he knew there was more in there than she was letting on, a person with a 
    heart. He couldn't help grimacing at the thought, if she heard him say that 
    she most likely would rip out his tongue and hold it over him to prove him 
    wrong... 
            ... He stopped in mid thought as he looked up at the sky again. with 
    a gasp as if some one had hit him and the near mindless thought of panic and 
    shock. He wondered why the little dipper was looking down upon him. 
            "AERYN!" He gasped, his eyes not leaving the heavens. 
            "What is it?" She watched him spin around, his eyes still up looking 
    up, seeking out more of the sky. 
            "My God Aeryn..." 
            "What!" She hissed. After the short time she has know him, she had 
    long ago gotten use to his dazzled expression at simple things. 
            "The stars..." He whispered, then for the first time met her gaze. 
    He licked his lips quickly then looked up again. "How long had Sebacean's 
    lived on this planet?" 
            "What? ... I don't know... its our home world... Why?" 
            He pointed to a cluster of stars. "Because either this universe is a 
    lot more warped than I thought... or that's Orion's belt I see. And there, 
    that way... that's the big dipper." 
            "What? What are you babbling about?" 
            "Constellations Aeryn, on my world we named the patterns in the 
    stars by certain names. The stars in this sky are the same, well almost, one 
    of the stars in the dipper is completely gone... but as I remember, it was 
    going to go out soon." He looked down to her, griping her arms tightly. "You 
    realize what I am saying? I never left. Except in time... Its why we look so 
    similar, but different..." 
            "Are you saying that I am a descendent of..." 
            "The world I left behind. But the stars are slightly different." 
            "Maybe you are picking out patterns you wish to see?" 
            "No, it all fits! The patterns with time would drift, or change with 
    a huge amount of time. Why we look and are the same physically..." 
            'The Peace Keepers are humanity's future?' he could not help 
    thinking... 'No!' He refused to believe that. He pulled away from Aeryn. 
    'Dad? DK? Everyone he left behind? Gone?' At a wild guess when he compared 
    how advanced Sebacean's were to what he left... he knew all that he had know 
    would be dust, if even that still existed long ago. He ran his fingers 
    through his hair... 'My God! No wonder they treat me like a idiot! I am a 
    freekin Neanderthal compared to...' 
            "John?" 
            He didn't hear her. His mind was running fast, piece by piece 
    everything fell into place, the stars, the people who looked just like him, 
    how he had traveled all this way -or so he had thought! He had never figured 
    that one thing... in theory wormholes could span space, AND OR time. But it 
    was just a theory... hell, wormholes and black holes themselves were just 
    theories until he came here... Why not toss time into the equation as well? 
            He couldn't face this. He bolted from the room. 
            "JOHN!" She yelled, and ran after him. 
            He ran fast, he had never been anything close to a Olympic quality 
    runner, but his legs carried him. He just couldn't face Aeryn, or anyone for 
    that matter. Now more than ever he was aware of how much he didn't belong in 
    this universe. The small voice in the back of his head told him it was 
    pointless to run; where would he go to? 
            'You can't run John, not from this... you’re stuck here... in this 
    sick twisted version of a universe... On this ship with a insane military 
    commander with an Ahab complex on your tail. Its only a matter of time 
    before you run into him again. It's just a matter of time before you die 
    here... no home, no one to care or love you. Alex is gone with the rest. 
    Ashes to ashes... Nothing to see afterward, your brush with death taught you 
    that.' 
            He pushed himself faster, not caring where he went, except the part 
    of him that wished it was over.  


***  


            Aeryn chased him down the tier and onto the next. Part of her 
    wondered why she bothered. Why chase him? But she knew... she knew his mind 
    was reeling from having his world uplifted and overturned. He didn't know 
    how to deal with it. 
            "D'Argo" She yelled into her link, even with her training she could 
    feel her legs begin to tire. John had adrenaline on his side, that and she 
    had noticed the Human was fast... 'Human?' If John was right... No, he 
    couldn't be. He just couldn't. 
            "What is it Aeryn?" D'Argo finally answered. 
            "Help me calm down Crichton..." She gasped into the link. 
            'What is..." 
            "I will explain later, I think he may do something stupid. Tier 
    nine. Bring Zhaan. Hurry." She heard him say something in Luxan that her 
    microbes could not translate, and then the line went dead. Aeryn ran, she 
    had lost sight to John, but still could hear his quickly retreating footfall 
    further down the corridor. 
            She came to a stop when she noticed she could no longer hear him... 
    Where was he? She knew he could not have out distanced her, he had to be 
    near by. She looked around, long rows of doors which lined the wall. She was 
    in the crews quarters section of the ship. He could be in any of the rooms. 
            "John?" She called out, hoping he would hear. Why are you even 
    bothering? She wondered, maybe it was best to just leave him be... he'll 
    come out when he wants, or at the very least when he gets hungry. 
     She opened a door and looked inside. She knew why she was bothering... She 
    closed the door and looked in another. You care for him, you admitted as 
    much after you caught him with Gilina. She closed her eyes in 
    irritation with herself over the memory. So stupid... she thought. Why had 
    she told him? 
            Aeryn peered into another room, she heard breathing. 'John?' Without 
    thinking her hand went down to her weapon. She walked slowly inside, she 
    spotted him on the far side of the room curled up on the far side of a chair 
    on the floor. She walked over or him. She kneeled down next to him. His 
    expression was blank, his eyes never left the wall in front of him. 
            "Hey", she whispered, remembering back to the time he had used that 
    odd greeting on her. 
            "You don't need to worry about me." He said dead tone. 
            "I think you need to talk." He looked over at her. "Think of it as a 
    pay back for all the times you bothered me." 
            "All right." He said simply. He looked to her like a ghost of his 
    former self, as if he had aged many years in the short distance he had run. 
    He hadn't given her his normal odd quip in reply. 
            "Are you sure?" She asked, knowing he would know what she meant. 
            He looked away from her and sighed heavily. "Aeryn, I am a 
    scientist, a Tech if you will." He started to laugh at the thought. "I spent 
    most of my life studying the sky, one thing I should hope to know now is 
    what my home sky looked like." 
            "But you said they were slightly different." 
            "Yeah, Aeryn," he turned to face her again, becoming more wrapped up 
    in what he was saying. "Stars are not a constant, they change and shift, 
    fade and are born..." His voice faded as they looked at each other in 
    several minutes of silence. "They are all gone, what I knew. Before I always 
    took comfort in the fact that everyone back home would be were okay." 
            Aeryn stared at him. "That has always been my thought as well, until 
    the Zelbineum." 
            "Two lost people on a living ship who can never go home?" He asked. 
    She met his eyes. He then bowed his head and leaned forward, Aeryn tensed 
    not knowing what he... 
            He rested his head on her shoulder without thinking. She sat 
    perfectly still not knowing how to respond and was startled when he reached 
    up and pulled her to him tightly. She had told him grief was never shown, 
    that it was viewed as a weakness. But she felt it all the same. His pain, 
    his loss. 
            She understood. 
            Comfort. she thought. she knew she should pull away, but didn't. She 
    reached up and held him back, gently resting her lips against his brow. She 
    pushed away the voice that told her to stop. Why? Why bother? 
    She had lost all she had known too. No one to make her stop, to follow... 
    She bushed her lips over his brow. 
            The first sobs that racked his body took her by surprise He buried 
    his face in her hair and let go. 
            Aeryn listened to him cry, running her own fingers through his hair. 
    She knew the only reason she allowed him this, her comforting him... she 
    carried for him. She gritted her teeth at the thought, but she knew she 
    could not deny it. Ever since he had come into her life, turning hers upside 
    down she had suspected. She had tried to scare him away, but it never seemed 
    to work. He remained, at that moment he was one of those few constants in 
    her life. Before it had been her duty, her training, her fellow comrades. 
            Tears stung her eyes. This damn Human's grief was infectious. 
            She heard the door open and tensed, slowly she turned her head to 
    see D'Argo and Zhaan with several DRD's at there feet. 'Please... not now.' 
    She thought, but didn't pull away from the sobbing Human who was a oblivious 
    of their audience. Shame burned her cheeks. She was a Peace Keeper, to let 
    some one see her like this holding a weeping... She stopped. 
            Was. 
            She wasn't a Peace Keeper any longer.  This was her punishment this 
    time, when they had been recalled by comand she had pushed her ship ahead, 
    ignoring the call. She sighed, consigning herself to her fate. 
            With the DRD's Pilot got a good view of her as well. 'Why not just 
    broadcast her and Crichton to Crais's ship?' She thought with irritation. 
            Zhaan seemed to sense Aeryn's thought, and rested a hand on D'Argo's 
    arm and pulled him back from the odd picture. The door shut behind them, 
    Aeryn saw Zhaan faintly nod her head. 
            She noticed that John was being to calm down, then stopped and 
    pulled away. He kept his eyes down. "I am sorry Aeryn, I know how you feel 
    about..." He got up and moved to leave but she stopped him. He looked down 
    at her hand. 
            "Uh, thanks... for... I have just been bottling up everything since 
    I got here, you could say this... it was the straw that broke the..." He 
    babbled on, not knowing what else to say. 
            "You’re welcome." She said, a bit to sharply. If it had been anyone 
    else, John would have thought the person was upset at him, but with Aeryn, 
    she had the same look on her face as when she had spit out she had feeling 
    for him... for a moment, he added. Come on John, its your typical boy meets 
    girl and are stuck together in a scary place with no way out scenario. Its 
    just... 
            She looked up at him. He knew that look. He has seen it before. 
            'This is not happening, this is not happening.' He thought. Without 
    thinking he moved closer to her. She didn't back away. 'Come on Aeryn, hit 
    me or something.' he dared. Instead she closed the gap between them and 
    rested her hand on his chest slowly sliding it up to his cheek, then over 
    along the side of his face to rest against his brow. His mind spun back to 
    the kiss, when they were stuck in the Flax and they thought they were about 
    to die. The promise they made to each other rang out in his mind. 'But never 
    is such a very long time.' He thought before he leaned down and kissed her. 
    This time it was different, their remaining life was not being counted in 
    minutes. Once he got over the initial shock of what he was doing, and the 
    fact he was still alive, he realized Aeryn was nervous. 
            Nervous? Her? Maybe Sebaceans don't kiss? Heck, he didn't have a 
    clue. He decided to try something he hoped she liked. Pulling away he took 
    her face in his hands and kissed her brow. He smiled as her heard her sigh, 
    and gently covered the smooth skin over her eyebrow with tiny kisses. The 
    curiosity was killing him, he had to know. 
            "Aeryn, do Sebaceans kiss" he asked, running his thumb over her 
    lips, "like this?" 
            "No... I.. I don't know." John could feel his eyes go glassy, like a 
    deer stuck in an oncoming headlight of a car at night with what she had just 
    confessed to him. "You mean..." He sputtered not knowing how in heck to 
    finish that sentence. 
            "Duty came first, I never had the time, ...or the person I wish to 
    be with." 
            "You could have fooled me." He looked at her in disbelief, she 
    looked pleased at that! He shook his head and drew her into another embrace. 
    
            "John?" She asked. 
            "Yeah." She pulled away and kissed him suddenly. 'Yup, she 
    definitely wants to do this...' He deepened the kiss, noticing she was not 
    nearly as awkward as before. Her lips were so warm and soft, so unlike in 
    behavior to the person they belonged to. All other thoughts fled his mind... 
    
            "Attention! Peace Keeper vessel approaching." Pilots voice ran out 
    with illperfect timing. The two jumped apart at his words. 
            "There she blows- she blows!- she blows!- right ahead!"  John called 
    out. Aeryn looked at him with her common look which said that he had gone 
    mad. "A book, its a story of a man who hunts something beyond all common 
    sense." He explained. 
            "Ah," she said. "I don't believe I will ever understand you 
    Crichton." She added, and moved to leave the room. He stopped by resting his 
    hand on her shoulder, and leaned over close to her ear. 
            "Now we can't have that, it would make me incredibly boring real 
    fast." 
            He didn't see her smile as she walked out and broke into a jog down 
    the hall, he followed her. When it rains it pours, he thought. It seemed 
    this place hit him with miles of information in a very short time. His 
    thoughts wandered back to home, and the stars that confirmed it was closer 
    and farther away than he ever thought. He remembered back to when he was kid 
    looking up at the night sky with his Dad, and the crazy wishes he had made 
    then, he had no idea were some of his wishes would get him. To be like his 
    Dad and travel to the moon and beyond. 'I wish I may, I wish...' he thought, 
    but what would be wish for now? Home? Fate had granted him that in the 
    cruelest way posible. Home, but he could never go there, the people who 
    lived there would kill him. To wish for some one to care for, to care for 
    him? He looked on to Aeryn's retreating form, maybe. Just maybe... 
            If she didn't kill him first. 


      
Fin 
*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~* 
Please direct all rants, Morian Death Spiders, and free web 
space to me at the email above or below. Ah, come on! With 
a name like that, they ought to make GREAT pets!!  :P 
-Browny :) 
Browny_@email.com 
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/3007/farscape/