Title: A Second to Infinity
Type: Vignette?
Author: Karolyn Gray <kmgray3@aol.com>
ScifiBB/Chat Handle: Gray3
Rating: G
Spoilers: Look at the Princess, Pt 2: I Do, I Think
Synopsis: None.
Archiving: Yes
Disclaimers: All Farscape names, characters and other related indicia are the property of Jim Henson Productions, Hallmark Entertainment, Nine Networks, the Scifi Channel and all associated parties. No copyright infringement is intended.

A Second to Infinity
Karolyn Gray

A second to infinity. That's what this feels like as I spin, free and weightless, almost carefree and reckless into the void. A flash of light, then dark, then light again as I watch the erie glow of pulse cannons firing on a now dead ship, beautiful in their own savage way. As beautiful as the blue green world that completes the backdrop of this oh-so deadly canvas of space.

I can't breath. To breathe is to die. A rather ironic thing, don't you think? I need to breath to live and yet if I do so at this moment it means my death, the very thing I wanted to avoid.

Strange. I feel cold and yet my skin tingles with the begining flare of a burn. My eyes stinging, burning, and yet cold, so cold.

This is insane. To make a suicide decision to save my life. And I'm not talking entirely about this moment but everything I've done in my life. Why bother? Why continue? Because I have to. I don't really know why. And now, even as I feel my blood begining to bubble and the cramps take hold of my body, I still don't know.

It would be so easy to stay here amongst the heavens. To touch the stars, as Pilot would say. It's quiet here, so very quiet. All I hear is the rushing of my blood, the beating of my heart, and my thoughts. My thoughts that, for now, seem so clear, unfettered with concerns and fears. So peaceful just stay like this, forever locked in a moment of rapture and pain.

But the pod nears. I have to continue. I'm not done yet. And so I enter the pod. The pain is overwhelming, muscles spasming and cramping, blood boiling, the need for air desperate and yet my lungs unwilling to work. Finally, finally I am able to bring much needed oxygen to my body as I relearn to breathe. I can't help but scream my pain before I curl up tightly, allowing myself the illusion I am safe.

Here there is no Moya. No Aeryn. No Katralla. No Scorpius. No one but me. No loneliness, no nightmares, no fear, no anger and strangely now, no pain. I know I am slipping into unconsiousness and yet...

Now, for just this moment, I can hold this second to infinity.