Lines You Wont Hear on Farscape......we hope #1 (1999-2000)

Additions to this list are welcome.

Contributors to the Things you wont see/hear on Farscape: Gray, Allan Mathews, starpaw, Browny, OboeCrazy, kitsah, Sillgon, #Farscape (the SFC's chatroom), AmidalaTrinity, Chrystina Riggs, Michael Miller, steelbird, Anthony D, Farscape-shippers@egroups, Susan Anne Irving, braken

And yes, a rare few of these lines made it onto the show. What can I say? GMTA I guess. OK. Maybe not so great minds. <g>

1. Crichton: "Uh...Houston....I'm having a really bad acid trip here."
2. Alien female to D'argo: "Is that your qualta blade or are you just glad to see me?"
3. Crichton to Rygel: "You know you look like a muppet."
4. Aeryn to Rygel: "Bite me."
5. Aeryn: "Give peace a chance."
6. Crichton: "Eat blazing electric death!" Aeryn: "You mean the food cubes?"
7. Crichton (pointing at DRD): "I know who you are."
8. Rygel: "We must go to the Dagoba system."
9. Crichton: "Nuke 'em!"
10. D'Argo: "It is a good day to die."
11. Zhaan: "There is a great disturbance in the force."
12. Any one "So what'll it be today? Green food cubes or purple?" "Green!" 
"Purple!" "Green!" "Purple!" (ad naseum)
13. Any one (singing) "I did it my way."
14. Moya: (wheeze..gasp...screeching cat noises)"Yes."(groan...screeck...
gurgle...whine)
15. Dargo: "John, you just blew up the planet." Crichton: "Oops."
16. Aeryn to Crichton: "You are an amazingly intelligent and resourceful creature. 
Ever thought of being a Peace Keeper?"
17. Zhaan to Aeryn: "I don't know how to tell you this but John's your cousin from 
Piquipsee."
18. Crichton: "There are those who believe that life here, began out there...."
19. Sheyang Scavenger to anyone: "Ribbit"
20. Rygel: "Have you seen my cousin, Kermit?"
21. Moya: "I knew I should have become a luxury starliner."
22. Crichton (on the terrace): "I'm king of the world!"
23. Aeryn: "No boom today. Boom tomorrow."
24. Rygel wearing a pin: "Have you hugged a peace keeper today?"
25. Crichton wearing a pin: "Kiss me, I'm human."
26. Aeryn wearing a pin: "Kiss me. Or else."
27. Captain Crais: "Greetings, I'm the founding member of Sabeceans for the 
Preservation of Humans."
28. Any one: "Luxons and Tavleks and Aeryn, Oh my!"
29. Dargo to Zhaan: "Nice scales."
30. Zhaan to Dargo: "Nice tentacles."
31. John (during dangerous situation): "Hey, I saw this on a Star Trek episode!"
32. Crichton: "You want fries with that?"
33. Maldiss: "God, this gig really bites."
34. Crichton: "Cowabunga, dude."
35. Zhaan: "As stated in the prophecies..."
36. Aeryn: "I will stop the first wave."
37. NamTar: "I won't charge you an arm and a leg like other mad scientists."
38. Crichton: "Aeryn Sun: Tabloid killer."
39. Crichton to new alien: "Klatu Nikto Barata."
40. New Alien to Crichton: "Johnny, you never call. You never write."
41. Rygel: "My bastard of a cousin Kermit stole my throne."
42. Crichton to Rygel: "So you got over thrown by a frog, huh? Bummer."
43. Moya (with sign stuck on side): "Baby on Board" (7-18-99)
44. Zhaan singing: "Naked Eye" (7-18-99)
45. Crichton: "You mean the shuttle pod is a giant norelco electric razor?" (7-18-99)
46. Rygel: "I *do* inhale." (7-18-99)
47. Crichton: "I wish I *didn't* inhale." (7-18-99)
48. Alien: "Welcome to the deepest, darkest, dankest place in the universe." 
Crichton: "Oh, you mean 
New York City." (7-18-99)
49. Unknown Transmission: "...any ships in Grid Epsilon...." (7-18-99) 50. Dargo to Crichton & Aeryn on pod: "I'll give you five more minutes." Aeryn: "You only last five
minutes?" (7-18-99)
51. Crais: "Set frag cannons to stun." [8-8-99] 52. Zhaan: "Do you think I'd look better in pink?" [8-8-99] 53. Aeryn: "Love is a battlefield" [8-8-99] 54. John (singing): "Come fly with me, come fly, come fly away." [8-8-99] 55. John: "Doh!" [8-8-99] 56. Aeryn: "I am Peace Keeper, hear me roar!" [8-8-99] 57. DRD: "beety-beety-beety, Look out John." [8-8-99] 58. Any PK singing: "Kumbaya" [8-8-99] 59. DRD: "Danger! Danger! Danger, John Crichton." [8-8-99] 60. John: "Whomp, there it is!" [8-8-99] 61. Zhaan: "Hey, Homies" [8-8-99] 62. John: "Huh-huh Huh-huh huh....cool." [8-8-99] 63. Aeryn: "John, that's not my pulse rifle you're holding." [8-8-99] 64. Aeryn: "Pulse rifle: check. Rations: check. Whipped cream: check. Restraints: check. Coming John?" [8-8-99] 65. John to Aeryn: "Does the phrase 'let's get horizontal' mean anything to you?" [8-8-99] 66. Zhaan: "Should we tell John the food cubes are actually Soylent Green?" [8-8-99] 67. Dargo: "They're coming to take me away...haha" [8-8-99] 68. Aeryn to John: "Did you know a tribble died on your face?" [8-8-99] 69. Dargo to John&Aeryn: "Get a hotel room!" [8-8-99] 70. Aeryn (or John) to the other: "I'd like to have sex with you but Im busy repairing my ship right now." [8-8-99] 71. John:"My God. It's full of stars." Aeryn: "Duh. We're on the terrace." [8-8-99] 72. Crichton's Communicator: "John's not here, man. Leave a message after the scream." [8-8-99] 73. Zhaan: "Welcome to my mind. That'll be $99.99." [8-8-99] 74. John: "Something's fishy here and it ain't Rygel." [8-8-99] 75. John: "Hmm. Taste like spoo." [8-8-99] 76. Chiana: "Meow." [8-14-99] 77. DRD: "We are Moya's DRDs. You will be assimilated." [8-14-99] 78. John: "Damn, where is the SACC when I need them?" [8-14-99] 79. Aeryn: "Groovy." [8-14-99] 80. D'argo: "Of course I've got a plan. I'll play my shilquin until they beg for mercy." [8-14-99] 81. John to Durka: "Can you say 'cuckoo-cuckoo'?" [8-14-99] 82. Durka warning John: "Beware the food cubes! They made me what I am." [8-14-99] 83. John: "Hey, I'm Commander Crichton and this is my lowly Farscape band." [8-14-99] 84. Aeryn: "OK, Who let the goths out?" [8-14-99] 85. Commercial: "Food cubes: the other mystery meal." [8-14-99] 86. Jack Crichton: "In my day, we had to slog through two feet of snow for five miles to reach the launch
pad..." [8-14-99]
87. John: "Why is there a purple wombat doing showtunes in Pilot's chamber?" [8-21-99] 88. Anyone: "I am Sci Fi." [8-21-99] 89. Aeryn: "OK, who stole my Lucky Charms?" [8-21-99] 90. PK Wanted Beacon: "You've got mail." [8-21-99] 91. D'argo (doing commercial for Qualta blades): "It slices. It dices. It even makes julienne fries!" [8-21-99] 92. Lyko to Zhaan: "Use the Force, Zhaan." [8-21-99] 93. Pilot: "And the winner of the 1st Annual Moya Bocci Balls of Death Competition is....John Crichton. Runner up: Rygel. Do it again and I'll kill you both!" [8-21-99] 94. Commerical: "Trygopods. The healthy alternative to foodcubes." [8-21-99] 95. Vorcarian Blood trackers:"Woof. Woof." [8-21-99] 96. John: "So what happens if I press the red button?" [9-12-99] 97. Durka (singing) "Snap you finger. Snap your neck." [9-12-99] 98. Commercial: "Trelkez, for those who want a little whine from their dinner." [9-12-99] 99. PK Beacon: "Tonight on PK's most wanted..." [9-12-99] 100. John: "It's ten o'clock do you know were your Peace Keepers are?" [9-12-99] 101. Aeryn: "But it's my turn to crash the shuttle pod!" [9-12-99] 102. Emcee: "And the award for most congenial Peace Keeper goes to Bialar Crais." [9-12-99] 103. John: "So I grow some dreadlocks and get some tatoos I become a Luxan warrior?" D'argo: "Yep." [9-12-99] 104. John (singing): "Modern Major General." with the DRD's providing back up [9-12-99] 105. Zhaan: "Would you like one lump? Or two?" [9-12-99] 106. Moya crew to anyone: "Could you come back later? We're watching Farscape to see what is gonna happen to us next." [9-12-99] 107. Anyone: "Mmm. Baked Hynerian." [10-9-99] 108. John, on false Earth with gun: "Go ahead. Make my day, punk." [10-9-99] 109. John (replying to Aeryn on why he didn't shoot alien in TtLG): "Well remember the last pulse rifle?" Aeryn: "Oh. Good point." [10-9-99] 110. Crew to John: "So what are the humans saying about us this week?" [10-9-99] 111. Delvian priest: "Join the Psychic Friends Network." [10-9-99] 112. Anyone: "The freaking fapootah of a hezmana bound nurfer frelled the yotz out of this piece of dren." [10-9-99] 113. Aeryn: "Ex-squeeze-me?" [10-10-99] 114. Zhaan: "Aiyiyiyi" (Xena war cry complete with flips) [10-10-99] 115. Aeryn: humming the theme for "Hercules" (the tv show) [10-10-99] 116. Rygel (singing): "One Banana, two banana, three banana, four..." [10-10-99] 117. Chiana to Zhaan and D'argo (singing): "Hello madda. Hello Fadda..." [10-10-99] 118. Zhaan applying Delvian mysticism to the sitch: "Great oogily boogily." [10-10-99] 119. John: "Hmm. Go home and be prisoner or dominate lesser species with my favourite PK spacebabe. Decisions. Decisions." [10-10-99] 120. John: "Hi, my names John Crichton. You may remember me from such disasters as the wormhole, blowing up Aeryn's pulse rifle and getting trapped in the Flax." [10-10-99] 121. Emcee: "This is KNIF, the all Luxan Hyper Rage station. Next up: Qualta Blades: to shoot or to skewer?" [10-10-99] 122. Episode Title: "A Human, A Sebacean and What The Hynerian Saw." [10-10-99] 123. John to Aeryn: "You fly. I'll buy." [10-10-99] 124. Dam Ba Da Resident to Zhann: "Do you know where the Mad Max set is?" [10-10-99] 125. John to Crias (upon being captured): "Nuts." Crais: "Why yes I am." [10-10-99] 126. Sheyangs: "Tora. Tora. Tora." [10-10-99] 127. Anyone (during a battle): "OK. Time out!" [10-10-99] 128. John: "Oh, smeggin' Hell..." [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 129. Chiana: "You're such a smeghead!" [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 130. Pilot: "Orange swirlly thing alert!" [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 131. DRD: "Would you like some delicious toast?" [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 132. Random PK: "We live for the One. We die for the One." [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 133. Anyone to Pilot: "Make it so!" [10-21-99 from Allan Matthews] 134. Aeryn: "Good. Bad. I'm the chick with the gun." [10-21-99 135. Pilot: "Moya is very pissed." [10-21-99] 136. Zhaan: "I shall seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade." [10-27-99] 137. Aeryn: "I love the smell of chakan oil in the morning." [10-27-99] 138. John (watching the circling vultures) to the others: "This is a good sign. Right?" [10-27-99] 139. D'argo: "Who stole my fuzzy pink bunny slippers?" [10-27-99] 140. DRD: "This wrong tool." [10-27-99] 141. Valen to Crew: "Could you point me in the direction of Za'ha'dum?" [10-27-99] 142. Anyone to Pilot (reading starchart): "So what does it say?" Pilot: "You are here." [10-27-99] 143. Zhaan to John: "What have I told you about giving Chiana catnip?" [10-27-99] 144. Pilot (in best HAL voice): "I'm sorry. I can't do that, John." [10-27-99] 145. Emcee (who sounds suspiciously like John): This is MOYA, the former PK prisoners station.
Tonight's topics: Zhaan and the art of kicking ass, D'argo gives pointers on Qualta Blade maintenance
and Aeryn Sun's learning to be more. All right after this pathetic human scream. [10-27-99] 146. Larraq: "You dissin' my crew?"
[10-27-99] 147. John: "Can I go back to the happy yellow realm now?" [10-27-99] 148. Anyone but John: "I'm so excited all six of my nipples are tingling!" [11-1-99 from Allan Matthews] 149. Aeryn: "Yeah, but it's a dry heat." [11-1-99] 150.Pilot: "Attention passengers the seat belt light is on." [11-1-99] 151. John to Crais: "But his indicator wasn't on!" [11-1-99] 152. John to Rygel: "Man, they were serious on the label when they said 'dryclean only'!" [1-1-00 Browny] 153. Matala as she flies into her rescue ship with the black hole: "Didn't I see this in a Star Trek movie?" [1-1-00 Browny] 154. Aeryn finaly blows her top and decides to shoot Crichton, as she pulls the trigger a stick shoots out, then a tiny banner unrolls with the words 'BANG!' imprinted on it... John- "Don't look at me! I haven't been near a pulse rifle since I blew up the last one!" [1-1-00 Browny] 155. John to D'Argo in their first meeting: (As D'Argo had him pined to the wall.) "Uh pardon me sir, but you would not perhaps have any Grey Poupon?" [1-1-00 Browny] 156. John to D'Argo: "Oh I knew I shoulda turned left as Alberqerque!" (SP?) [1-1-00 Browny] 157. John to D'Argo: "Are you sure that's your final answer?" [1-1-00 Browny] 158. John to D'Argo: "I have fallen and I can't get up!" [1-1-00 Browny] 169. John to D'Argo: "Uh, let me guess, your not the AAA guy?" [1-1-00 Browny] 160. John to D'Argo: "Nice Doggy..." [1-1-00 Browny] 161. John to D'Argo: "Scotty, beam me up!" [1-1-00 Browny] 162. John to D'Argo: "ET phone home?" [1-1-00 Browny] 163. John to D'Argo: "Behold! I am the arch angel Gabriel!" (Bones said this in ST:TOS to Spock in a epp, can't remember what one...) [1-1-00 Browny] 164. Crais: Ya know Crichton, you look good in orange! Do you work out? [1-1-00 OboeCrazy/Lauren] 165. Crais: I need a haircut. [1-1-00 OboeCrazy/Lauren] 166. Crais: Aw come on guys, it's Thanksgiving.. . take the day off! [1-1-00 OboeCrazy/Lauren] 167.Crais: I don't care if it dosn't look as scary, I want this ship painted pink!! [1-1-00 OboeCrazy/Lauren] 168. Crais (singing): I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! [1-1-00 OboeCrazy/Lauren] 169. Crais: Aw, what the hell. Bygones, Crichton, bygones! [1-1-00 kitsah] 170. Crais: Fine! (pouting) I'll just take my toys and go play in someone else's sandbox! So there! [1-1-00 kitsah] 171. Crais: Wait, wait...it all makes sense now, Doc! The reason I'm such a loony bastard is that I married my Mom, Jocasta... [1-1-00 kitsah] 172. Crais: Teeg slipped in her tea. No, I don't know what tea is. But I'm your loony bastard captain and I say that's what happened. Tea. Slipped. Got it? [1-1-00 kitsah] 173. Crais: Who's Crichton, again? [1-1-00 kitsah] 174. Crais: Etch A Sketch in the Rubber Room in twenty minutes. First one there gets to shake all the drawings and ruin everyone else's work. Ready, set...go! [1-1-00 kitsah] 175. Crais: Muahahahaha! I didn't say Simon Says! [1-1-00 kitsah] 175. Crais (Ringing doorbell on Moya): Pizza delivery! [1-1-00 kitsah] 176. Comms: "We're sorry the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected." [1-1-00] 177. John to Zhaan: "Why so blue? Are you sad?" [1-1-00 Sillgon] 178. Pilot: "Does anyone know how to fly this thing?" [1-1-00 Sillgon] 179. Zhaan: "Talk to the hand!" [1-1-00] 180. Scorpius: "By the power of Grey Skull!" [1-11-00 #Farscape] 181. John to Crais: "You look quite fetching today." [1-11-00] 182. Scorpius to Crais: "Behave or you wont get a lollipop." [1-11-00] 183. John to Scorpius (while in Aurora Chair): "Cool, you get HDTV!" [1-11-00] 184. John (in chair): "Wheeeee!!!!!" [1-11-00] 185. Moya: "Dammit Pilot, I'm a starship not a dialasis (sp?) machine." [1-11-00] 186. John (singing): Major Tom [02-14-00] 187. Crais (singing): Satisfaction [02-14-00] 188. John to Scorpy: "Got a light?" [02-14-00] 189. Commercial: "Got dentic?" [02-14-00] 190. John to D'argo (during BtBW): "Do you think this would be a good time to tell Zhaan I'm a vegetarian?"[02-14-00] 191. Commercial: "Got bones?" [02-14-00] 192. Crais (note to self): "No maniacle laughter until after I steal the ship." [02-14-00] 193. Crais (after stealing Talyn): "Tag, You're it!" [02-14-00] 194. Aeryn (after reactivating Aurora Chair on Crais): "Ew! Crais wears pink and purple polka dot underwear."[02-14-00] 195. Crais to Aeryn: "Let's dance." [02-14-00] 196. Zhaan: "I'm feeling herbicidal today." [02-14-00] 197. Aeryn: "You sure this will work?" John: "Who wouldn't run away from a neon pink and yellow Prowler with a Peace sign on the wing?" [02-14-00] 198. Moya: "No Starbursts until you've had your supper!" Talyn: "Aw, mom!" [02-14-00] 199. John: "Hey, Dad. I've run away and joined an interstellar circus. Nya, nya, nya." [02-14-00] 200. John (to crew): "Is it me or are all the aliens we meet bad guys?" [02-14-00] 201. John: "You mean you want me to light up a planet with a super soaker?!" [02-14-00] 202. Commercial: PK Planetary Landscapers "You choose it, we'll nuke it!" [02-14-00] 203. Pilot: "I think we were suppose to turn left at that last star." [02-14-00] 204. John to Crais: "Here, have a cookie." [02-14-00] 205. John to Aeryn(while eating food cubes): "Well, you do know what they say about the green ones. Right?" [02-14-00] 206. J to A (after yet another incident that throws them literally on each other): "Next time, I get to land on you." [02-14-00] 207. Zhaan's prayer translation (EfG): "Calgon take me away!" [02-14-00] 208. Zhaan's prayer translation [EfG]: "Where the hell did I put the neomycin (sp)?" [02-14-00] 209. Zhaan's prayer translation (BBBTTF): "What was I thinking becoming a Delvian priest." [02-14-00] 210. Crais: "Arg, Me mateys!" [02-15-00] 211. Scorpius to John: "Uhm, you wouldn't have happened to have seen my fuzzy pink handcuffs?" [02-15-00] 212. John: "I love hanging with you man!" D'Argo: "You're still not getting my Bud Light." [02-15-00] 213. Moya: "Bwahahahahahahaha!!!" [02-15-00] 214. Chiana (to Crichton): "There is no spoon." [02-21-00 AmidalaTrinity] 215. Commercial (for the gals): "Larraq, Obsession for Scapers." [02-21-00 Gray (for the shipper list <g>> 216. Commercial (for the guys): "Gilina, Obsession for Scapers." {02-21-00} 217. John to Crew: "Is it me or does Rygel sound more German lately?" [02-21-00] 218. Zhaan: "I'm just-- like-- totally buggin!" [02-21-00 Silgon] 219. Scorpius to Crew: "Can Johnny come out and play?" [02-21-00] 220. Niem: "I was Tracy Lords in another life." [02-21-00] 221. Scorpius (watching the Gammak base burn): "Now that was just plain rude." [02-21-00] 222. John: "This is like watching pods grow." [03-06-00] 223. Rygel to crew: "How would you like it if someone had their hand up your butt all day?" [03-06-00 AmidalaTrinity] 224. Zhaan: "Anyone got some Miracle Grow?" [03-06-00 AmidalaTrinity] 225. John to Scorpius: "Scorpy, ol' buddy, ol' pal. How's it hanging?" [03-06-00] 226. Talyn's note to Moya: "Gone planet destroying with Crais. We'll be back before dinner." [03-06-00] 227. (Failed) PK Recruitment commercial: "The few, The proud. The dead on the planet." [03-06-00] 228. A group of Peace Keepers singing: "We are the World..." [03-26-00 Chrystina Riggs] 229. Crais saying "Can't we all just get along" (seems a little too obvious) [03-26-00 Chrystina Riggs] 230. Chiana: "Not now. I've got a headache." [03-26-00 Chrystina Riggs] 231. Matala: "Do I look fat in this outfit?" [03-26-00 Chrystina Riggs] 232. John: "We've got Movie Sign!" [03-26-00 Chrystina Riggs] 233. D'argo: "We're off to see the wizard." [03-26-00] 234. John: "Who needs chocolate when you can have crawldar(sp?)." [03-26-00] 235. Aeryn to John: "No you may not paint a smiley face on my prowler!" [03-26-00] 236. Rygel: "It's not easy being green." [03-26-00] 237. Aeryn: "Yo Quiro Taco Bell." [03-30-00] 238. D'argo (to John): "Play that funky music, white boy." [03-30-00] 239. John: "Yippy damn skippy." [04-01-00] 240. Aeryn: "Boom shub-a-lubba-lubba, boom shub-a-lubba-lubba" [04-01-00] 241. D'Argo (to enemy): "Here have a flower." [04-01-00] 242. Zhaan: "Die commie pigs!" [04-01-00] 243. Scorpius: "Please send in your contributions, for the sake of the children." [04-01-00] 244. Scorpius (to John): "Hey, wanna see my deck of naked sebacean space babes?" [04-01-00] 245. Scorpius: "Oh, sorry. Wrong address." [04-01-00] 246. Crais (to Scorpy): "Let's do lunch." [04-01-00] 247. John (to any PK): "How many Peace Keepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" [04-01-00] 248. D'Argo: "I wanna be a cowboy." [04-01-00] 249. Aeryn (to John): "I'm sorry, John, but Ive found the slug of my dreams." [04-01-00] 250. Alien (knocking on launchbay doors): "Hello? Hello-oh? Evil alien of the week here!" [04-01-00] 251. Anyone on Moya: "If this is the Uncharted Territories then how come everyone else knows where they're going?" [04-01-00] 252. John: "Why don't we just stop and ask for directions to Geidi Prime?" Crew: "Shut up!" [04-01-00] 253. Peace Keeper: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" [04-01-00] 254. Pilot: "Fine. DIscuss it amongst yourselves. I'm going for a walk." [04-01-00] 255. Pilot (observing J&A together thru DRDs): "So much for that physical impossibility." [04-01-00] 256. John to Zhaan: "Heeellllooooo, nurse!" [04-01-00] 257. DRD: "Beep, beep." [04-01-00] 259. John: "Don't write checks your body can't cash." Crew: "What's a check?" [04-01-00] 260. Aeryn: "John, want to go make out?" John: "Naw, I've got a headache." [04-01-00] 261. Zhaan: "Life is like a box of chocolates." [04-01-00] 262. Moya: humming the theme to Gilligan's Island. [04-01-00 Silgon] 263. John: "I believe." [04-01-00] 264. Aeryn: "Red rover, red rover can Johnny come over?" [04-01-00] 265. Pilot: "I just want to dance!" [04-01-00] 266. Alien: "We come in peace." John: "Well, we're dead meat now." [04-01-00] 267. John: "The truth is out there." [04-01-00] 268. John: "That's how a barbarian fights." Aeryn: "John, you can get off the floor now." [04-01-00] 269. Chiana to Moldon: "Rock my world." [04-03-00] 270. John to Chiana: "Go jump of a cliff!" [04-03-00] 271. PK Advertisement: "Pulse rifles are a PKs best friend." [04-03-00] 272. PK Advertisement: "When you care enough to send the very best. And then have it destroyed." [04-03-00] 273. Scorpius: "John Crichton, come on down! It's time to play The Price is Right! [04-0300] 274. Aeryn (singing): "I'm a little bit of lizard, but a whole lot of woman." [04-08-00] 275. Chiana in private to any one of Moya's crew: "Um. The test came out blue." [04-08-00 Michael Miller] 276. Rygel with nightstick: "Respect mah authori-tay!" [04-08-00 Michael Miller] 277. DRDs in whistling chorus: "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it's off to work we go..." [04-08-00 Michael Miller] 278. DRD: "Polly want a cracker?" [04-09-00] 279. Rygel (to anyone): "Have you seen my speedo?" [04-09-00] 280. John to Scopius: "Hey! Quit borrowing my hawaiian shirts!" [04-09-00] 281. John: "That'll teach them crackers to talk back!" [04-09-00] 282. Aeryn: "Nuke'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." [04-09-00 Michael Miller] 283. Aeryn: "Did I just see D'Argo run by sobbing?" Zhaan: "Yes. He's been feeling very inadequate since seeing John in the shower." [04-09-00 Michael Miller] 284. John: "And now for something completely different." [04-10-00] 285. Scorpius (singing}: The Barney song. [04-10-00] 286. Zhaan: "Oh my goddes, they killed Rygel!" John: "You bastards! Oh and I get his foodcubes!" [04-10-00] 287. John (singing): Tequila Sunrise [04-10-00] 288. Zhaan: "Shut up, I'm channeling here." [07-09-00] 289. John: "Trout me, baby." [07-09-00] 290. Aeryn: "Alas poor Crais! I knew him John." [07-09-00] 291. Rygel: "How was I suppose to know the rabbit would eat all the chakan oil and blow up?" [07-09-00] 292. John: "One desolate moon, no ruins, no atmosphere, no lifesigns. Yep it's a trap alright." [07-09-00] 293. Pilot: "Don't ask me, man. I just work here." [07-09-00] 294. Rygel: "Wassup!!" [07-09-00] 295. John to Zhaan: "You really need to get in touch with your inner Vorlon," [07-09-00] 296. John to D'argo: "Uh, Big Guy, we need to talk about your needlepoint." [07-09-00] 297. Aeryn (reminiscing about her PK past): "So there I was, surrounded by hundreds of cute, adorable, fluffy white bunnies..." [07-09-00] 298. Rygel: "Golly-gee-willickers." [07-10-00] 299. Chiana: "Beware the spoors!" [07-10-00] 300. Pilot: "John, you've received a message from your mother: no desert until you eat your broccoli." [07-10-00] 301. D'argo (to crew): "Tonight I shall perform the dance of the sugerplum faeries." [07-10-00] 302. Aeryn & John (as Scorpy runs away screeching like a wuss): A: "What the frell did you do?" J: "Showed him an episode of Lexx." [07-10-00] 303. John (during Premiere ep): "Name's Nekkid. Buck Nekkid." [07-10-00] 304. Scorpius: "Just ignore the mean old nasty Command Carrier. We're harmless. Honest. We're just on our way to Raissa." [07-10-00] 305. Velerek (to Aeryn re: betrayal): "It was the pink bunny underwear. Wasn't it?" [07-10-00] 306. Commercial: "KeedvaKing. Have it your way or it will have you." [07-10-00] 307. Commercial: "It's the new S class Prowler with improved maneuverabilty, A/C, 20000 metra warranty, CD player, and sunroof." [07-10-00] 308. Aeryn: humming theme to a Fist Full of Dollars [07-10-00] 309. John: "I am master of my domain!" Aeryn: "John, get back here and finish folding the laundry." John: "Yes, dear." [07-10-00] 310. John: "Uh, D'argo. Why are you wearing Aeryn's underwear?" [07-10-00] 311. Chiana (after being called a trelk) "Smile when you say that." [07-14-00] 312. Maldis: "I'll be back." [07-14-00] 313. D'Argo: "I seem to have misplaced my qualta blade in Rygel's back." [07-14-00] 314. Crais to Niem (while watching Scorpy interrogate John) "Does he do private parties?" [07-14-00] 315. Anyone: "Everybody Limbo!" [07-14-00] 316. Halosian: "I am the terror that flaps in the night!" [07-14-00] 317. Moya: "Moo." [07-14-00] 318. John: "Aww. it's a chupacabra. How cute." [07-14-00] 319. Crais: "Hey-diddley-ho, neighbor-eenos." [07-14-00] 320. Anyone (except Chiana): "Here kitty, kitty, kitty." [07-14-00] 321. John: "Konnichi wa, D'Argo-san. Desu ka?" [07-14-00] 322. John's new motto: "Life's better up here." [07-14-00] 323. Rygel: "Kalieu, Kalei, Oh what a happy day!" [07-14-00] 324. John (singing): "Boom" (i.e. "She goes boom, boom, boom. I go crazy, crazy.") [07-14-00] 325. Scorpius to Darth Vader: "So what did you do when they blew up your Death Star?" [07-14-00] 326. DRD: "Beep, beep." [07-14-00] 327. Zhaan (re: Halosians): "They were quite loquacious for such fowl beings." [07-14-00] 328. John: "Hi. Name's John Crichton. You can call me Monkeyboy." [08-01-00] 329. Anyone: "Gleep." [08-01-00] 330. Zhaan: "Lock and load!" [08-01-00] 331. Crais (with sign): "Will command ships for food." [08-01-00] 331. Scorpius (carrying sign): "Will stalk innocent lost human scientists for wormhole technology." [08-01-00] 332. Rygel: "No thank you. I'm full." [08-05-00] 333. Anyone to Stark: "Got a light?" [09-05-00] 334. Stark: "No, I'm not the Phantom of the Opera!" [09-05-00] 335. John to Carrgn (the Skarren) (during LATP series): "Look uh...Sat..Sastere..whatever ...I'm gonna call you Bob. OK?" [09-05-00] 335. Ketralla: "My dearest weasel...er I mean dearest brother." [09-05-00] 336. Aeryn (with the Vorc in best Elmer Fudd voice): "Be werry, werry quiet. We're hunting parasites!" [09-05-00] 337. Rygel: "Toga! Toga! Toga!" [09-06-00] 338. Aeryn's pet name for John: "Fruit loop." [09-07-00] 339. John: "I do *not* boogie. I waltz!" [09-07-00] 340. Crais: "Do the Safety Dance and I'll release Talyn to you." John and Aeryn: "See ya, Talyn." [09-07-00] 341. Aeryn: "Who needs John when I've got UCSBDad." [09-08-00] 342. Zhaan: "I'm sprouting! I'm sprouting!" [09-08-00] 343. Rygel {licking lips}: "Tribble did you call it? Very tasty." [09-08-00] 344. Pilot: "I think Kahanyu saw one too many episodes of Babylon 5." [09-08-00] 345. Lt. Braca: "I was so much happier when I was just the ship's librarian." [09-08-00] 346. Zhaan: "We've got to nip it in the bud." [09-08-00] 347. John to Scorpy: "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon." [09-08-00] 348. DRDs to Pilot: "By your command Imperious Leader." [09-08-00] 349. Chiana: "That's a bunch of felgarcarb(sp)" [09-08-00] 350. D'argo: "By the Lords of Kobold!" [09-08-00] 351. Crichton (after blowing away any bad/evil alien): "Yippie Cai Yay, Mother Freller." [09-08-00 steelbird] 352. Stark: "Yo, sucker! What you doin'?" [09-08-00 sillgon] 353. Anyone: "Can you hear the food cubes?" [09-08-00 sillgon] 354. Pilot: "Far out, man." [09-08-00 sillgon] 355. Aeryn: "I give that crash a 9.4." D'argo: "I have to diasgree there, Aeryn. I give John a 9.6 for form." [09-18-00] 356. Ancients to John: "When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave." [09-18-00] 357. John: "Hey, whose up for space surfing?" [09-19-00] 358. John (thwacking the clamshell): "Damn. Doesn't this thing get cable?" [09-19-00] 359. Anyone: "Oops. Wrong button." [09-19-00] 360. Moya: "Wormholes? We don't need no stinking wormholes!" [09-19-00] 361. Anyone's Comm: "We're sorry the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please try again." [09-19-00] 362. John (during ACN): "Oh. So that's what happened to Blondie." [09-19-00] 363. John to everyone else: "What is it with you people and leather?" [09-19-00] 364. Aeryn (in shock): "Scorpius ran away." John: "Who wouldnt after three verses of 'Its a Small World' Disney style?" [09-19-00] 365. Zhaan: "You are a cruel and malevolent being. I like that in an alien." [09-19-00] 366. John: "Who put the trout in the froonium drive?" [10-08-00] 367. Pilot to DRDs: "Bow to me for I am your king!" [10-08-00] 368. Aeryn (on how she escaped and inescapable trap): "Well I *am* the Raven Haired Goddess." [10-08-00] 369. John: "Simon says let's get the frell out of here." [10-08-00] 370. Anyone: "Narf." [10-11-00] 371. Stark: "I'm a rainbow, too." [10-14-00] 372. Any PK: "I'm really a nice person. I just hate you." [10-16-00] 373. Anyone to Scarren: "That's a nasty case of dry skin there. Want some lotion?" [10-16-00] 374. John to species from Alien: "Get your face huggin, egg laying, acid blooded, slimy ass of this ship before I pull a Ripley on you." [10-16-00] 375. Rygel: "Dont make get medieval on your buttocks!" [10-16-00] 376. T'railtixx: "Are you afraid of the dark?" [10-16-00] 377. Braca: "Sir, we seem to have run out of Grey Poupon." Scorpius: "That's it. I can't work under these conditions!" [10-16-00] 378. John: "What's that?" Anyone else: "It's a gizmoamatic." [10-16-00] 379. Crichton: "Long live King Rygel!" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 380. Zhaan: "Tea and crumpets anyone?" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 381. *Crichton singing soprano* [10-21-00 Anthony D] 382. Aeryn: "Oh, for the glory days of Empire." [10-21-00 Anthony D] 383. D'Argo: "Peace dude!" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 384. Chiana: "Are we at the convent yet?" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 385. Pilot: "Are we there yet??" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 386. O'Neill: "Listen, Crichton, in all the time you've known her, have Aeryn's eyes ever glowed?" [10-21-00 Anthony D] 387. M'LEE: "I've decided to become a vegetarian." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 388. AERYN: "So how does this gun work, then?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 389. CRAIS: "Scorpy, you're my best bud in the whole wide world!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 390. SCORPIUS: "I love you too, man!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 391. CHIANA: "D'Argo, I'm having an affair with Crais." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 392. M'LEE: "I've started a new career...impersonating a hedgehog." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 393. SCORPIUS: "John Crichton? I'm not familiar with the name." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 394. PILOT: (singing) "I-I-I-I-I'm saaaaaaaiiiiiling awaaaaaaaaay...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 395. D'ARGO: "Help! Mommy!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 396. SCORPIUS: "What's a wormhole, again?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 397. JOHN TO SCORPIUS: "You know you look like a scuba diver." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 398. KATRALLA: "White just isn't my colour." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 399. NIEM: (singing) "I'm a Barbie girl...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 400. CHIANA: "I've decided to become a nun." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 401. SCORPIUS: (doing commercial for Aurora Chairs) "It extracts memories! It tortures! It massages! Buy two, get a free pink fluffy cushion!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 402. RYGEL: "Man, I'm stuffed!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 403. JOHN: "Have you heard this one? Three Peacekeepers walk into a bar...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 404. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (after kicking Crais' ass in Bone To Be Wild) "Next time you decide to slam me into the wall, do it gently!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 405. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (after kicking Crais' ass in Bone To Be Wild) "Bow down to me!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 406. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (in best Anne Robinson voice) "Crais, I will talk down to you in a superior manner because you're a big girl's blouse!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 407. PILOT: (singing) "Woah! We're going to Ibiza!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 408. RO-NA: "No, I'm NOT related to Mander from MediEvil 2!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 409. DRDS: (in best Dalek voices) "Exterminate! Exterminate!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 410. DRD: "DUUUUUUUUDE!!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 411. CARRGN TO SCORPIUS: "Scorpius, *I* am your father!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 412. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: "Crais, *I* am your father!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 413. CRAIS: "Hi, I'm Crais. Feel free to hate me." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 414. ZHAAN: "You are the weakest link. Goodbye." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 415. SCORPIUS: "You are the weakest link. Piss off." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 416. CHIANA: "Tsk! Such violence!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 417. CHIANA: "Having sex with everyone I meet? ME??" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 418. CHIANA: "I have got to stop wearing such reveling clothes!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 419. JOHN TO SCORPIUS: (after Scorpy shoots Gileena in The Hidden Memory) "You killed her. Thank God, I thought she'd never get off my back." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 420. D'ARGO: "All reet lads, pint a' booze?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 421. ZHAAN: "All reet gals, pint a' booze?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 422. SCORPIUS: "Crais, you can be in control of this Command Carrier again. I quit!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 423. SCORPIUS: "How do you think I feel?! My dad is a huge great iguana and my mum is a stupid bitch who was so stupid as to bonk him! My life had been one big mess since the midwife said to my mother "Congratulations ma'am, it's a boy"!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 424. BR'NEE: "Well, I say let them cut down the rainforests!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 425. CHIANA: "I am a prude." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 426. CLAVOR: "I was Paul McCartney in a past life." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 427. AERYN TO CARRGN: "You look quite handsome for a Scarren." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 428. ZHAAN TO A TOMATO: "Bob! My long lost cousin!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 429. ANY SCARREN TO AN IGUANA: "Susie! My long lost sister!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 430. A PORCUPINE TO M'LEE: "Are you trying to tell me something?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 431. JENAVIA: "I'm not a slut, Katralla, I'm THE slut." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 432. STARK: "The name's Stark. Stark naked." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 433. MOYA: "Woof! Woof!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 434. TALYN: "Baa!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 435. CRAIS: (singing) "I want to be a hippy...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 436. CHIANA: "I'm related to Anne Robinson." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 437. NERRI: "I was an extra on the Rocky Horror Show." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 438. SALIS: "I was Elvis Presley in a past life." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 439. SALIS: (singing) "Wild thang! You make my heart sing!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 440. SCORPIUS: "Oh, I'm not really evil. I just act that way because I like the media attention!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 441. CHIANA: (singing) "Ooh eee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 442. BR'NEE: "Never underestimate a human. I mean, I spent all day stitching myself back together!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 443. ZHAAN: "Bring on the hunks in tight leather!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 444. SCORPIUS TO NIEM: "Helloooooo honey!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 445. NIEM TO SCORPIUS: "Helloooooo baby!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 446. NIEM TO SCORPIUS: (at Aurora Chair controls) "How do you work this thing?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 447. JOHN: "Hey, M'Lee! Wanna go on a date!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 448. SCORPIUS: "My bastard of a cousin Darth Vader stole my throne!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 449. D'ARGO TO JOTHEE: "Jothee, *I* am your father! Oh, hang on...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 450. JOHN: "My bastard of a cousin Luke Skywalker stole my throne!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 451. CHIANA TO AERYN: "Get stuffed, you Lara Croft wannabe." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 452. DRD: (in best Mr. Hankey voice) "Howdy ho!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 453. CRAIS: (in best Cartman voice) "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 454. ZHAAN: "Guys, I'd like you to meet my new husband, Stark." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 455. STARK: "Somebody stop me!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 456. AERYN: "Ariba!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 457. SCORPIUS: "What do you want me to do, dress a drag and do the hula?!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 458. JOHN TO ANY SEBACEAN: "Too hot for you?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 459. MOYA: "Zhaan, one request...." ZHAAN: "Anything, Moya." MOYA: "Don't sing, your voice is bloody awful." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 450. JOHN: "Um, Scorpy, why are you wearing a thong over your face?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 451. DURKA: "Arg, ye scurvy dogs!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 452. CHIANA: "Pokeball, go!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 453. CHIANA: "D'Argo's my BROTHER?!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 454. VARLA: "You may recognise me from Resident Evil, in which I played a zombie!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 455. JOHN: "Pikachu, I choose you!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 456. CHIANA: "YAY! The Teletubbies are on TV!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 457. SCORPIUS: "Aloha!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 458. ZHAAN: "Adios, amigos!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 459. RO-NA: "Great leaping lizards!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 460. AERYN: "Darling, Chanel makeup doesn't come cheap!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 461. RYGEL: "My ego is so squeaky clean, you could go ice skating on it." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 462. ANYONE: "That Tweenies show is great, what a masterpiece!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 463. ZHAAN: (singing) "I'm blue, da ba de da ba da...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 464. JOHN: (singing) "Ba ba ba, ba baby bell." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 465. VARLA: "Um. I think the liposuction went wrong." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 466. D'ARGO: "I'm scared!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 467. AERYN: (singing) "Ooh! Stick you! Your mama too! And your daddy!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 468. SALIS: "Yee-hah!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 469. BR'NEE: (looking in mirror) "AAAARRGGH!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 470. CARRGN: "WAAAH! I broke a nail!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 471. ANY SCARREN: "I'm off to the Arctic for my holidays." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 472. ANY SEBACEAN: "I'm off to the Carribean for my holidays." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 473. SCORPIUS: "It's too cold! No, too hot! Cold! Hot! Cold! Hot! Cold! Hot!" (etc.) [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 474. CHIANA: (singing) "I only kiss, kiss, kiss when the sun don't shine, woah...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 475. CRAIS: (singing) "Aaaaaand I-I-I-I-I-yaaaaaaiiii, will always love yooooooooouu...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 476. CHIANA: "Soon I will take over your pathetic lives and rule the galaxy! Mwahhahahahaa!!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 477. PILOT: "You homies! How ya hangin', dudes?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 478. ANYONE EXCEPT JOHN: "WAZZUUUUP!!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 479. SCORPIUS: "I've been thinking about all the terrible things I've done and *SOB* I am SO sorry!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 480. TALYN: "Mummy, I love you!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 481. CRAIS: "Man, I love everything!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 482. MOYA: "Um, Pilot, it's that time of month again." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 483. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (singing) "You're thick, you're thick, you're thick, you're thick, you are, you're thick!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 484. CLAVOR: "I think John would make a great king!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 485. RO-NA: "Caffine! I crave caffine!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 486. ANYONE: "Cor, blimey guv'nor!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 487. SCORPIUS: (after the Gammak base is blown up in Family Ties) "WAAAAH! That was not fair!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 488. D'ARGO: "I was Barry from Resident Evil in a past life." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 489. JOHN: (during the bar scene with Chiana/Jessica in Won't Get Fooled Again) "Anyone see the freak in the next booth?" CHIANA/JESSICA: "Jeremy Beadle's in here?!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 490. BRACA: "I'm surrounded by morons!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 491. ZHAAN: (during the Look At The Princess series, when Moya is dying) "Woo-hoo! I'm FREE!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 492. JOHN TO GILEENA: (at the end of The Hidden Memory) "Hurry up and die, I'm dying for me spaghetti hoops!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 493. SCORPIUS: "The evil bastard bites back!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 494. SCORPIUS: (when he's about to shoot Gileena) "Eat this, whore!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 495. CHIANA: (after frying Javio in Nerve) "Yum yum. Kentucky Fried Sebacean." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 496. SCORPIUS: (after doing something evil, nasty or downright malicious) "The world loves a bastard." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 497. DRD: "Look at me! I'm metal mickey!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 498. NAMTAR: "I am the king rat." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 499. ANYONE: (at the end of any episode) "So we all lived happily ever after!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 500. ZHAAN: "Use the force!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 501. JAVIO: (after being fried by Chiana in Nerve) "Look at me! I'm a crispy critter!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 502. GILEENA: "John, I'm seeing someone else." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 503. CRAIS: "You don't know the power of the Dark Side!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 504. KATRALLA: "My insurance will never cover this." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 505. JOHN TO SCORPIUS: "Wanna go down the pub?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 506. KATRALLA: "Ah, who wants to become Empress? I'm getting a part time job stacking shelves in Safeway." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 507. CHIANA: "Sex kills, baby." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 508. NAMTAR: "Squeak squeak." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 509. D'ARGO: (in best Austin Powers voice) "Groovy, baby!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 510. SCORPIUS: "Wormhole technology? I don't need no stinkin' wormhole technology!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 511. VARLA: "I was Debbie Harry in another life." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 512. NERRI: "Um, Chiana, I don't know how to tell you this, but Varla's our long lost sister." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 513. ANY PEACEKEEPER: "Black is so yesterday!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 514. AERYN: "Like, that's so cool." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 515. SCORPIUS: "Frell, it's Crais! Hide me!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 516. CRAIS: (singing) "I'm super, thanks for asking...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 517. ZHAAN: (in Beverly Hills accent) "WhatEVER!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 518. SCORPIUS: (after eating a bit of Rygels food in Family Ties) "Braca, send the lads out to get some fish and chips. This stuff tastes like shite." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 519. CRAIS: (after Scorpy kicks his food over in Bone To Be Wild) "I was gonna eat that, you bastard!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 520. CRAIS: (after Scorpy kicks his food over in Bone To Be Wild) "I'm telling on you!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 521. ZHAAN: "Die, scumsucker!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 522. CHIANA: (during A Clockwork Nebari) "Kinky!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 523. CHIANA: (during A Clockwork Nebari) "Actually, this collar looks quite fetching." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 524. CHIANA: "I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm a lesbian." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 525. CHIANA: "I'm a virgin. Really." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 526. AERYN: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty...." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 527. SCORPIUS: "I'm so happy I could explode!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 528. SCORPIUS: (during Won't Get Fooled Again) "Ah, what's the point in saving John? I'm never gonna get that wormhole technology." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 529. BRACA: "I was Admiral Piett from Star Wars in another life." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 530. ZHAAN: "Kill them! Kill them all!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 531. CHIANA: "I'm the nice, polite type you'd take home to meet your parents." [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 532. RYGEL: "God, farting is so disgusting!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 533. SCORPIUS: "Can't we all just get along?" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 534. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: "Get down there and lick the dren from my shoes, you inferior being!" [12-7-00 Susan Anne Irving] 535. Chiana: Been there. Done that. Snurched the t-shirt. [12-8-00 bracken] 536. AERYN TO JOHN: "Fancy a shag, luv?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 537. ZHAAN: "Is there a doctor in the house?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 538. SCORPIUS: "Is there a dentist in the house?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 539. RO-NA: (singing) "Shut your frelling face, uncle frella..." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 540. JENAVIA: "I want my fluffy wuffy kins teddy!" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 541. JOHN: "So what happens if I push this button that reads "DO NOT TOUCH"?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 542. CHIANA: "Now where did I leave my Gucci stilettos?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 543. AERYN: "Maybe if I dyed my hair pink...." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 544. NIEM: "In my spare time, I like too do impressions of Barbie." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 545. D'ARGO: "Stark, you are my bestest friend ever." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 546. SCORPIUS: (during Nerve) "God DAMN, Crichton, you have the craziest memories I've ever seen." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 547. SCORPIUS TO NIEM: (during Nerve) "Ah, what the hell. Fry his brain until it dribbles out of his ears, for all I care." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 548. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (after witnessing Crais breaking Lt. Teeg's neck in The Hidden Memory) "Oh my God! You killed Teeg!" NIEM: "You bastard!" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 549. NIEM: "Now where did I leave my spangly hot pants?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 550. CHIANA: "Where'd I put my navy blue buisiness suit?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 551. D'ARGO TO SCORPIUS: "I'm interested in becoming your buisiness partner. Can I have a thong for my head now?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 552. CRAIS: "I am the weakest link. Adios!" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 553. M'LEE: (after sniffing John in Bone To Be Wild) "Urgh! Have you just farted?" [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 554. M'LEE: (after sniffing Scorpy in Bone To Be Wild) "Nice aftershave." [12-8-00 Susan Anne Irving] 555. Aeryn: "Do you wanna go my way?" [12-9-00] 556. Pilot's den (with sign): "Gone fishin' " [12-9-00] 557. Anyone (during dramatic scene): "Will somebody turn off the damned soundtrack? I'm trying to say something important." [12-9-00] 558. Anyone: "John, why are you leaving out a plate of foodcubes?" John: "In case Harvey gets hungry." [12-9-00] 559. John (while surveying a damaged Command): "I told you not to leave Santa any foodcubes." [12-9-00] 560. D'argo: "You know, I kind of like the chains." [12-9-00] 561. John (after returning home ten years later): "So who's the President?" Jack: "We're still waiting for the recount." [12-9-00] 562. Pilot: "Do I look fat to you?" [12-9-00 Anthony D] 563. Rygel: "That's a specist remark, and I'm going to sue you for it." [12-9-00 Anthony D] 564. Scorpius: "And remember, I'm not only a member of Hair Club...." [12-9-00 Anthony D] 565. Namtar: "And now a word from our sponsors -" [12-9-00 Anthony D] 566. Matala: "Some-where, ov-ver the rain-bow..." [12-9-00 Anthony D] 567. M'lee: "It's what's for dinner." [12-9-00 Anthony D] 568. Scorpius: "Good job everyone. Group hug!" [12-15-00] 569. Aeryn (rolling dice): "C'mon seven. Baby needs a new pair of shoes." [12-15-00] 570. Rygel: "I've decided to give up my throne for a career as a fashion model." [12-15-00] 571. Ancients to John: "Sorry, but those wormhole calculations we gave you are really Bob's pizza recipe." [12-15-00] 572. Commercial: "Raslac. It's good to the last drop." [12-15-00] 573. CRAIS: "Bah, humbug!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 574. PILOT: (singing) "Jingle bells, jingle bells...." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 575. RYGEL: "God, I stink." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 576. AERYN: "Ooh, it's a rainbow. Pretty." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 577. SCORPIUS: (singing) "My heart goes shalalalala...." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 578. SCORPIUS TO JOHN: (after John activates the windscreen wipers to attempt to get rid of Scorpy in Won't Get Fooled Again) "Oh no! It's the killer windscreen wipers! Whaddama gonna do?!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 579. GILINA: "Kill the bastard!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 580. D'ARGO to anyone who's trying to hit on Chiana: "Git yer hands offa ma girl, punk." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 581. M'LEE: "Mmm....carrots. Tasty." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 582. CRAIS: (wearing a T-shirt) "I am gay." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 583. PILOT: (after whacking Aeryn one in A Clockwork Nebari) "Kiss my fist, you scum of the universe!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 584. SCORPIUS TO CRAIS: (in "annoying little kid" mode) "I-I'm better than you!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 585. Zhaan: "Where's a fusion bomb when you need one?" [12-15-00] 586. John: "I've decided to conquer the universe. Who's with me?" [12-15-00] 587. John (during job interview): "Well I've spent the last couple of years being chased across the galaxy, hunted for the knowledge in my brain, blew up a planet or two, killed more aliens than you can shake a stick at, fell in love, visited hundreds of worlds, became prince for a day, and generally screwed up all the evil aliens plans." 588. Interviewer: "Yes, but can you load a grocery bag?" [12-15-00] 589. D'ARGO TO CHIANA: "Hey, Chiana, fancy a bit of sex?" CHIANA: "Nah, I don't really feel like it today." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 590. VARLA: (singing) "Mar-ii-aaah, you gotta see her...." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 591. ZHAAN: "No, Aeryn, you don't kill people like that! You have to flip them on their backs and stamp on their faces, like this!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 592. SCORPIUS: "Hey homies." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 593. CRAIS: (with afro wig, flares and platform shoes) "GRRRRROOOOOVYYYYY!!!!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 594. NIEM: "Ah, screw this Gammak base Aurora Chair crap, I'm going back to being a prostitute. See ya, Scorpy." [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 595. M'LEE: "I'm feeling hungry....crave chocolate....need chocolate....I CRAVE CHOCOLATE!!" [12-15-00 Susan Anne Irving] 596. John: "Scarrans. They're just your typical lounge lizards at war." [12-16-00] 597. Pilot: "There's only a hundred Peacekeeper Prowlers out there. We can beat 'em!" [12-16-00] 598. Aeryn to John: "Hey, sugar daddy." [12-16-00] 599. Moya singing "Born Free" [12-16-00] 600. DRD: "Viva la Revolution!" [12-16-00]