Things We Wont See on Farscape....we hope

Additions welcome:


Added 03-10-03
From Anne Dobbs:

*Anyone singing something from the buffy musical ep

*John having  an idea that doesn't result in lots of innocent 
people/PKs/scarrens, a ship blowing up/ developing a 
phobia and a fair amount of angst.

*John not angsting over Aeryn.

* Farscape being made into an Andrew Lloyd Webber production.

*Sikozu not acting like a smart ass

*Sikozu kicking pilots ass in a fight

*Stark wearing shades and referring to John as 'the One'

* Aeryn with pointy teeth

*D'Argo taking guitar lessons

*Braca deciding whose side he's actually on

*Anyone apart from John singing something from the nut cracker suite

*Someone dancing the nutcracker suite

* A performance of one of the songs from 'chicago'- everyone prances 
around singing and dancing in iddy biddy bikinis and occasional 
flashbacks to the really pointless plot in reality



Added 09-28-02:
From Gray:
Twelve-foot tall carrots stalk the crew in search of Miracle grow.
The crew must perform a musical to avoid execution.
Chiana gets a dog and goes aroud rescuing kittens.
The crew enters a dance contest to raise money to repair Moya.
Aeryn opens a kissing booth to raise money to send John home.
Farscape: The Wonder Years
Encounters: The Erotic Adventures of Crichton & Aeryn
D'Argo, Crichton and Stark form a stock car racing team.
The crew performs the Nutcracker Suite.
Scorpius gets spaced and the crew tries to find out who did it.
The gang holds a birthday party for Scorpius.
Harvey and John sing a serenade to Aeryn.
The crew knit Moya a scarf.
Crichton declares the terrace a nudist colony.
The crew goes fishing.
Crichton and D'Argo wagering heavily at the snail races.
Chiana becomes an opera star.
Added 09-22-02:
From Anne Dobbs:
-Farscape going neighbours- nothing to depressing happens, 
except Aeryn looses her memory, D'Argo gets blackmailed by 
an eight year old, Jool gets pregnant, and unfortunately goes 
into labour in a locked shed, and Chiana's barbie goes wrong.

-James marsters

-Scott Bakula

-Peacekeepers playing beach-ball

-Jool and Chiana on Tekken Tag

-Judy garland and Chiana doing a duet

-Jean Kelly and D'Argo to a tap dance together

-Talyn John, Zhaan, Teeg, Gilina, Crais and Orin rising from 
\the dead and preforming 'Thriller'<Micheal Jackson>

- Aeryn Tree hugging.

-Aeryn hugging.period.

-Rebecca Riggs deciding she doesn't want to place Grayza 
anymore, and being replaced by Anne Robinson.

-Arnold Schwartzneggar starring as a peacekeeper...emagin 
him wasting several good guys, but we wouldn't care because 
he'd look SO cool.

-Farscape being turned into one of those two part drama's the 
BBC is always making.

-Mini me

Added 06-15-02:
From Anne Dobbs:


The entire crew deciding the do really like Stark and he's the nicest person 
in the world.

DK running out of ideas and giving and making all the girls go topless for a 
few scenes as a ratings puller 


Oprah winfrey and the crew discuss several topics-

-I woke up married to three other guys and Moya
-no-one likes me
-I'm lost in the uncharted territories, stuck on a ship with no 
phasers and with a bunch of jerks
-I hate absolutely everyone and everything
-I'm absolutely fine
-I'm bonded, single, and lookin' for love


The crew getting stuck on a small transport pod with Xena and Buffy


The crew meeting all of the characters  from eastenders and- three people 
beaten up, two murdered, everyone hates eachother and two time their 
girlfriends with their best friends- and the only nice guy in the room gets a 
life sentence for treading on someones toe- while that person is busy 
massacring the remaining characters with an ash tray

Added 05-26-02:
From Anne Dobbs:

Pilot joining forces with the terminator and going on a killing spree.
The whole crew putting on leotards and preforming 'Cats' in command

The whole cast of lord of the rings making a guest appearance, and 
Aeryn, crichton, rygel, pilot, dargo, chiana, stark, jool, crais and 
zhaan all proposing to legolas

A punch up scene where Aeryn smashes a table over chianas head, 
D'Argo crushes a few DRDs with his foot, Pilot crushes D'Argo's head 
with his claw, Jool threatens to throw Wynona out the airlock and 
crichton hits rygel over the head with a baseball bat

A punch up scene where Crichton and dargo push eachother a bit, before 
Aeryn shoots crichton with her pulse rifle on stun, and he has to go to sick 
bay. (star trek anyone?)

The crew visiting the restraunt at the end of the universe

Aeryn starring in 'my fair lady'
Added 03-25-01:
From Susan Anne Irving:
Chiana auditioning for Cats.
John singing "Uptown Girl".
Jothee rocking out to Limp Bizkit.
Zhaan getting stoned.
		

From Gray:

Lil' Blue deciding to wear red tape.
Crichton trying on Chiana's clothes.
Aeryn trying on Chiana's clothes.
Aeryn and Crichton trying on Chiana's clothes together.
A razor toothed vorlag (Larry not withstanding)
Moya decides to marry Scorpius' Command Carrier.
D'Argo wearing a feathered boa.
Farscape porn! Farscape porn!
A Peacekeeper fashion show.
D'Argo emcee-ing a Peacekeeper fashion show.
Any one running around in cheesy satin tights and 
lame-ass gold bracelets ala Wonder Woman.
		

Added 01-21-01:
From Susan Anne Irving:

Scorpius looking at one of his cooling rods to find that it reads "Made in Taiwan".
Aeryn keeping a Vorc as a pet.
Aeryn keeping anything as a pet.
Natira singing "Got Your Money"....complete with Kelis wig.
D'Argo singing "Boom! Shake The Room".
		

From Gray:

Scorpius and John sharing a brewski while reminiscing about old times.
Scorpius proposing to Natira.
Natira proposing to Rygel.
Rygel espousing the benefits of selflessness.
Chiana preaching celibacy.
Peacekeepers learning flower arranging.
Three words: Chiana: Warrior Pricess
		

Added 12-30-00:
From Susan Anne Irving:

DRD DVD players playing "Still D.R.E." (try saying that ten times as fast as you 
can with a mouthful of marshmallows!)
Lara Croft.
John and D'Argo having a boxing match.
Scorpius and Crais having a boxing match.
Or, even worse: Zhaan and Aeryn having a boxing match.
Or, even worse, Rygel and Stark having a boxing match.
EVEN WORSE THAN THAT: Rygel and Pilot having a boxing match!!
Aeryn twirling a baton.
M'Lee offering someone "some delicious bananas and cream".
Any Peacekeeper with electric pink/orange/green hair, several piercings, and ripped jeans.
Pilot singing the theme tune to South Park.
Chiana wearing a sequined tail-coat.
Crais singing the theme tune to Only Fools And Horses.
Aeryn singing the theme tune to Red Dwarf.

From Gray:
Rygel doing a striptease.
Aeryn becoming a figure skater.
John dating a Scarran.
Chiana turning into a mermaid.
An attack by giant killer tomatoes.
Aeryn shooting Captain Kirk (Though we can all ways dream.)
John turns out to be Aeryn's long lost brother.
The Satellite of Love.
Another Shatner Priceline.com advertisement. (OK, even the UTs are unsafe 
from Shatnerology but hey!)
Scorpy juggling his cooling rods.

Added 12-17-00:
From Susan Anne Irving:

Peacekeepers performing the "YMCA" dance.
DRDs performing the "Stayin' Alive" dance.
Anyone performing the "Macerena" dance.
Rygel breakdancing.
A karaoke evening.
Peacekeepers wearing denim.
Crais shaving his head for charity.
Everyone going on The Weakest Link....with Zhaan as Anne Robinson's stand-in.
Scorpius smoking cannabis.
Zhaan getting high on Tipp-Ex.
Rygel becoming anorexic.
Scorpius trading in his black suit for a pink one with red polka dots.
D'Argo doing cowboy whoops.
Scorpius singing "I Can Change" from the South Park Movie.
Crais doing impressions of Hitler.
Aeryn crying like a baby after getting beaten up by Carrgn in Look At The Princess part 1.

Added 12-7-00:
From Susan Anne Irving:

M'Lee wearing a T-Shirt that reads "Save the trees".
Niem singing "Dancing Queen".
Chiana giving up sex for lent.
Zhaan raping Rygel.
Scorpius talking normally, without pausing mid sentance.
John singing opera.
D'Argo singing opera.
Pilot making spitballs.
D'Argo singing soprano.
Br'Nee chopping down a tree.
Anyone doing the Can Can.
Rygel or Chiana being honest for a day.
Scorpius laughing at a joke.
Scorpius laughing full stop.
Aeryn styling her hair in pigtails.
Scorpius in a Hawaiian shirt...oh, hang on, done that already...okay, Scorpius in a Hawaiian SKIRT.
Zhaan becoming a prostitute.
All the guys doing the Full Monty (ew!)
Stark going on Who Wants To Be A Millionare.
Rygel going on Blind Date.
Anyone going on any of these shows.
Scorpius screaming like a girl.
D'Argo screaming like a girl.
Aeryn screaming like a girl.
John and Scorpius having a lightsaber battle.
Chiana doing her best Queen Amidala impression.
Aeryn singing "Oops! I Did It Again".
Jenavia singing "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?".
Scorpius wearing a T-Shirt that reads "I Love Wormholes".
Aeryn singing anything by Madonna.
John playing Scrabble with Joxer from Xena: Warrior Princess.
The cast of Xena: Warrior Princess.
The cast of every Star Wars film.
The cast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Ro-Na talking in a deep voice.
M'Lee and Br'Nee getting together.
A Scarren crying like a baby.
M'Lee eating sprouts.
Rygel acting brave in a given situation.
D'Argo acting calm.
Crais acting sane and under control.
Br'Nee becoming a carnivore.
D'Argo using his Qualta Blade as a hockey stick.
Aeryn wandering around with no guns.
Aeryn without PMS.
John becoming a detective.
Zhaan window shopping down the high street.
Braca not behaving like a Star Wars Imperial officer for once in his life.
Zhaan reading a magazine with naked men in it.
Chiana becoming a nun.

Added 4-01-00:
The Lexx.
Barney.
Bannanas in Pajamas.
John kicking Aeryn's ass in a fight.
John kicking anyones ass in a fight.
Scorpius in a hawaiian shirt. [OK I left this one in despite this happening in CDM]
Peace Keepers performing Lord of the Dance.
D'argo giggling like a school girl.
Crais in bermuda shorts.

Added 3-13-00:
Moya throwing confetti in honor of Talyn's first starburst. (OK I kept this one here despite the DS exploding scene in Mind The Baby.)
Aeryn throwing floral boquets at anyone.
A Taelon.
Klingons
Cute little bearlike aliens that say 'zub, zub.'

Added 10-27-99:
*Need I say it? ZENETAN PIRATE DATING SERVICE. Or, even worse: a blind date with a Zenetan pirate!  (From Amber McKeehan)
*D'argo wearing plaid. (From Gray)
*Peace Keepers wearing tie dye clothes (From Gray)
*Crichton with a mohawk and nose ring. (From Gray)
*Disco (From Gray)
*John teaching the others the Safety Dance (From Gray)
*Aeryn doing the badass PK Strut...oh wait nevermind...John doing the badass PK Strut...drat done that already too....ok...ZHAAN doing the badass PK Strut. (From Gray)
*John teaching the infamous human game "slugbug" to Aeryn. (From Anonymous #1)
*The crew going au naturale for an episode. (From Anonymous #2)
* A Circle K/7-11 (From Anonymous #2)

From Leej's post at the Scifi.com BBoard:
*Aeryn tearfully longing for the cute, fluffy kitten she never had
*Rygel telling Crichton to "use the Force"
*DRDs wearing bumper stickers
*Pilot screaming "Up yours, crud!"as he wastes 10 peacekeepers with a machine gun
*D'Argo flirting with Rygel
*Chiana humming the theme from "Mission Impossible"
*Pilot suggesting that "perhaps Crichton would like to have total control of Moya for a few arns."
*A Luxon with a calm, peaceful outlook on life
*DRDs performing 'Riverdance'
*Zhaan letting in a bunch of Jehova's Witnesses
*Rygel shamefully deciding to return a stolen item "because it's the right thing to do"
*The Enterprise
*Moya growling,"Ice cream and pickles!I crave ice cream and pickles!
*Chiana batting D'Argo's tentacles around like a cat toy
*PeaceKeepers singing "We Are Family" during a big group hug
*Someone giving D'Argo a stress ball
*D'Argo saying, "Why of course you may take my Qualta Sword down to the Traders planet with you, Rygel. I trust you with it to the fullest extent"
*Crais throwing back his head letting out a mad, uncontrollable hysterical laugh(Mmmuah!HAHAHAHaaaa!)
*Anything that goes "nanoo-nanoo"

More Leej's stuff (hehehe):
*Moya going "beep...beep...beep..." as she backs up
*A PeaceKeeper who doesn't have:
      a. PMS
      b. a caffine addiction
      c. constipation
     d. a gun
or
     e. a severe superiority complex